The party favours I made were comprised of two things. A small white candle, a "strike anywhere" match attached. As Nadine goes into labour, we'll send out the word, and ask that the candles be lit, and that we all imagine a white light around her to give her the strength to have the birth she wants to have.
The other favour was a small envelope filled with seeds from my garden's white coneflowers. When her baby is born, we'd like for the flowers to be scattered somewhere - in gardens, or parking lots or just to the wind; and the location where it was done sent to Nadine. The idea is that someday, she may be walking down the street with this baby, and whether it's two or twenty-one or however old it will be when she is eighty-seven, she can say, "Those flowers were planted for you."
You see, just as with this idea we are guerilla gardening- going at it without permission, each on our own yet all part of the same effort and with only good intentions - we're guerilla parenting in that way too.
We don't always know all our children do in the world beyond our immediate ken - the effect they have when our heads are turned, whether they're two or twenty-one or eighty-seven. In one moment, someone may look upon the wonder of them and be moved - just as nobody can be un-cheered by a flower. And we ourselves may never know of it. We cultivate our families, then scatter them to the wind, and to the wind we all must return as well. It seems fitting that I've neglected my garden somewhat this year - it rather took care of itself, actually - but I've been growing my child and myself and some friendships. I've been growing as a mother, fighting rot and reaching for the sun.
And eating cake. Can I please take a moment to sing the praises of the chocolate cake at Leslie Jones? There was a time I ate two pieces in a row. It was two weeks ago, and I suppose I didn't need to tell you that.
At any rate, as Kate and I have, upon occasion, assumed mentoring roles due to our having slightly older children, now we look to Nadine to lead us on the next part of the journey.
Whether or not Kate and I are each going to follow her into expanding our families with more children really doesn't matter. It's not about Nadine being first - it's about how, within this little coterie, this trio of ours, she's braving it rather alone, as it ultimately must be when (snerk!) push comes to shove. And then, continuing, beyond and through and within all the ins and outs...and sharing it with us, over food and with laughter and fighting frazzled nerves and tears and telling stories. Nadine was surrounded by wonderful women who are all mothers, storytellers, and gardeners of souls at this shower, and it felt just right. It was wonderful that they all came.
Warm wishes for all the best, dear friend, if last night didn't tell you that.
