Sometimes, when I get an email from someone who has a much much better blog than I, well, I get a wee bit giddy. So, sometimes it's like, "ohmygosh, I can't believe
Sue reads my blog!".
She wrote to me the other day and asked:
"Forgive me if I missed a post explaining all of this, but I'm wondering how you chose your puppy. I've never owned a dog, but would love to have one someday. I'm curious about how you managed to find the dog that is the right "fit" for your family. Molly is adorable and is clearly loving her home. The kitty...well, he'll get on board eventually, right?"
She must have written with some prescience, as I've had a post in the works about the how and why there is now a Molly in our lives.
But I've stumbled over it, because I can't write a post about that without also talking about my dear departed Beauty; and Beauty's mention breaks my heart still. To even go back and
look at the posts around the time she died, I find that I haven't ever stopped grieving her loss, and I wonder why I let myself in for more of the same heartache. I cried for a good long time on the day we picked up Molly, and Steve (shhhh) himself had rather damp eyes at one point. Oh shit, I'm blubbering right now.
Beauty found her way into our lives by a fluke. To make another long story short (ish), I was visiting my folks in Buffalo, and stopped into the SPCA to see if any dogs needed walking, as I was (get this) too sick to go shopping and didn't want to hang around their house any longer. She was too good to leave there - I can't describe it in ten words or less, so it's not going in this post, but she was a
good dog. Rough, but
good. And in time, she turned out to be the best dog I'd ever had. With time, and training, and good care, she became not only much loved, but became a part of me, and a huge part of my relationship with Steve. And our friends will, to this day, often acknowledge she was above other dogs.
The intervening time since she died and the day we got Molly has been the longest time I've ever lived without a dog in my life. I don't know what I was missing that sent me searching again, but I've found some of it in Molly.
There are jokes about "cat people" versus "dog people" - but I'd just say there are "animal people" and those whose lives would be bettered in some way should they indulge in a companion (it's nicer than saying they're dead inside, but that's kind of what I mean). Craving the ability to reach over and stroke a soft head, or to wish for the gaze of some warm brown eyes upon me seems silly when my life is already so full, and when there are two very willing people there who are able to soak up all of that affection. To take on more responsibility and expense when we were coasting along, and to choose some aggravation and inconvenience and more mess when things were manageable? What am I , soft in the head?
I am. I just like what having a dog brings to our home. I missed some of the stress relief of grabbing two handfuls of the world's velvetiest ears and smushing them around muttering silly love words into the rounded hump between them. I missed getting out for walks, hearing the craziest morning bird songs and seeing rain-shiny streets in the evening when I wouldn't otherwise be out. I like how a dog introduces you to people you'd never otherwise talk to. I like how she likes me.
So, when I was looking for a dog again, I started slowly, and I looked at Rottweilers at first. When even Mr. Jones, a wonderfully trained dog with his Canine Good Companion certificate couldn't happen because it was too soon for Steve, I listened. I passed up on the adorable mutt named Brownie, because I couldn't find quite enough to recommend her. We were so very close to getting a five-month old Rottie...one that needed lots of training, that I'm glad I got scared and backed off when I found she wasn't spayed yet and since I don't buy dog from pet stores because of backyard breeders, I certainly couldn't buy one from the source. There was a black and tan hound dog that looked like Beauty, without being Beauty that tugged at my heartstrings...
What was missing was a connection. I knew I'd never find another Beauty, so I had to find a dog I could love on her own terms.
A puppy was considered for about three minutes - after all, there's
nothing like a puppy. They're made out of rubber, and they smell like pee and cedar chips. They have needles for teeth, and their fur has magical softness qualities. But, they are a lot of work. A LOT. A
LOT.
Too many people get puppies, and forget this, and they get dumped in shelters. Or, because they're little and cute, they are allowed to get away with bad behaviour, and when they grow a little older and are not little and cute any longer, and yet still retain those bad behaviours, they get dumped in shelters when they are even less likely to be adopted. There are more expenses with puppies, like spaying or neutering, and needles, and training. Puppies are for people who don't know how lovely dogs are when they are just a little bit older.
There were fiftyzillion concerns - from considering our lifestyle to our finances. But Josie's finally at an age where I can trust her a bit (holds fingers this far apart: | | ), and our work schedules are normal-ish and finances not too precarious...all that and more.
After much discussion, the criteria were determined:
1)
No penis. (They're just well,
unsightly. They can leave spooge on the furniture. The "pink carrot" tends to crop up at inopportune times. And Josephine has enough questions about "penits" lately.)
2)
Housetrained. (A huge benefit to adopting an older dog. Who needs to clean (more) urine and any excrement off the floor, even if it's offset by some puppyish gamboling of incredible adorableness? And becoming a master of anticipation and timing and praise, the best way to housetrain, is un-possible when there is also a toddler to contend with.)
3)
Size. With the carseat in the middle of the back seat of the (paid for!) 1996 Chevy Cavalier, the dog had to be able to travel comfortably. With the 90 lb. Beauty, this became an issue. And yet, with a toddler who loves animals, and just wants
to hug them and pat them and name them George, the dog couldn't be too small or delicate. It had to be sturdy, whatever it was.
4)
Temperament. See above.
5) Age. Young enough to be fun, old enough to live long and happily with us.
6) Health. Potentially crippling financial burdens = not a good thing.
I'd spent some time on Petfinder, but had no luck. For example, "Angel" a Boston Terrier - French Bulldog cross was no angel. Despite the mention in the posting that she needed to be an "only dog", which I thought meant in a household, the real truth was that Angel needed to be the only dog in the world, as she'd attack any other dog on sight (though she was "good with children and cats"). It took a long time on that site to scan ads, fill out questionnaires, try to read between the lines...it stopped being fun. Craigslist was annoying, if only for the poorly spelled ads and lack of organization. When a friend told us they found their dog through Kajiji, I started looking there.
In the meantime, I perpetrated the best April Fool's Day joke EVER.
On that day, selected friends received an email titled "A new addition to the Good family!"
Hey Everybody!
Now, some of you know that Steve's mom Joan's dog died about two weeks ago, and I'd been helping her to find a dog to love. Well, she got lucky through Kajiji, and found such a wonderful little girl named Dutchess. Here's a picture of "Ducky" with Josie - they are SO cute together! Well, you all know how much I've been missing our Beauty, and how I've been bugging Steve about getting a new dog. Well, I just got the news - a dog Steve's mom was interested in still needs adopting, and since Joan's got Ducky now, we're going to take her. So, here's Minnie's picture from her foster mom! Now, Minnie has a few problems, like mange (which can be cured) and a cherry eye and a lot of benign tumours. Once her skin yeast infection clears up, she shouldn't be so smelly. But she's a lovely beagle, only two. The foster parents said she's playful and goofy and once she's cured of these things, you won't be able to tell her apart from any other beagle, except that she only has three legs. But since we used to have a three-legged cat, we just viewed that as a sign that she was meant for us. Now, I've spent the best part of the day convincing Steve that this is a good idea, and he's more than a little grumpy about it. But I know I've said this to others - I've already told him that if he doesn't let me adopt a dog by summertime, I'm just going to ask my mom to buy me a Rottweiler puppy for my birthday. So he relented because he does NOT want a puppy. And Josie has only seen pictures of healthy beagles, so I hope she won't be too freaked out by Minnie. I just hope she'll be so happy to have a dog that she won't mind Minnie's temporary looks, though she'll always have tumours. Okay - I'm off to the pet store to buy a new leash and collar and bowl, because I'm so excited about my new sweetie! Bye for now, more pictures of Minnie when she comes!
M
And here was the picture of Minnie:
It was found on one of the "World's Ugliest Dog" sites.
Now, it is a tribute to the kindness my dear friends that they believed me, and thought me loving enough to actually take on a case like Minnie. Without exception, I received some form of congrats, though some were most definitely trepidatious. I must say, I am flattered by how big they think my heart is. And in times past, I would have taken on a dog like Minnie, though now having a Josephine means that's not an option.
So, it was ironic in the "causing wry amusement" sense that within a week or two, Molly's ad was posted.
I found Molly through Kajiji, just as I'd hoped. It seemed a good way to get the most information directly from the previous owners, which was something that shelters and rescues lacked. There were no middlemen, just trust. When looking for a dog with specific qualities for Grandma Joan (the best fictions have some truth in them, for future reference if you're ever pulling a prank), I'd come across Molly's ad. She was appealing - more than most, and because of and despite her owners' description. I was curious. I'd never considered a Basset Hound, but the size seemed right - not too big, not too small. So, next came researching the breed - understanding the worst-case problems and knowing which good qualities would outweigh them. Every time, in every place, it mentioned how typically good Basset Hounds are with children - our greatest concern. That was done best by just Googling.
General information is everywhere, but it's good to find forums where you can find specific concerns from actual owners, addressed by others who are in the same situation. It doesn't mean you have to start wearing
I'm a Basset Mom sweatshirts, thank goodness - though I see why
the snoods are good ideas, because thrice daily ear flap washes are in order after meals or walks in muddy fields.
ahem...
This was the picture that I saw:
And then, best of all, the ad was spelled correctly. You have NO IDEA how
good that looked in comparison to so many ads.
"Molly is a beautiful, energetic female basset hound. She is spayed and all vaccines are up to date. She is almost 2 years old (Aug.). She is crate trained and has had some obedience training. She is VERY friendly, loves other animals and children. Loves to go for walks. When purchased, we were told that she was a purebred basset, but we think she may have some beagle in her. She has a lot of energy. Much more then we do."
I couldn't write an ad that was more appealing to me. Because Basset Hounds? Notoriously low-energy. So I figured the high-energy bit must be relative, or situational. And most dogs settle down quite a bit after age two. And tossing a little Beagle into the mix? Great - mixed breed dogs often have fewer health problems. Our family loves walks, and has lots of energy.
She sounded gooooood.
So, we corresponded a bit with her owners, and here was her story:
"So, here's Molly's story.
She is looking for a new home through no fault of her own. She is a very lovable, loyal, wonderful girl. We had a mature dog for 18 years. She was a calm quiet girl. She suited us perfectly. When we lost her, we got Molly. We unfortunately forgot what it was like to have a puppy again. Our children have all "left the nest", but with Molly, we are feeling like we have a toddler again. There are no behavioural problems, just a little girl that wants to play and run. She is still a puppy. When she was around one year old, she went to obedience class. She passed the class, and actually learned a few things. She learned by the "clicker" system. Meaning when she does a command properly, she hears a click and gets a treat. I however have not kept the training up since the classes ended. Again, not her fault. She does recognize the click, as soon as it is brought out again. She is so eager to please. She knows to sit, can stay for a short period, learned to walk without pulling (most times). She sits and shakes a paw.
She is spayed. Her puppy vaccines are all up to date. She will be due for her yearly checkup and rabies shot in August. I will give you all her vet records. She has a schedule whereas she needs out when she gets up in the morning, again around the noon hour, around the supper hour and before she goes to bed. She lets us know, by sitting in front of the door and barking once or twice. She can also stay in her crate for the day and hold it in. Unfortunately I can't send her crate with her, but she will take her bed.
She eats twice a day. Around 7:00 pm, she usually disappears to her bed for the night. So we just get her up to go outside before we go to bed. Although she sleeps in her crate here, she is fine to leave out at night if you don't mind her sleeping on the couch. As soon as all lights are out, she will sneek into the living room and make herself quite comfortable. She is currently on Pedigree (dry dog food). She has never chewed on furniture because we gave her many bones and chew toys from the start. She should not be given rawhide, because this seems to make her hyper. Much like a child with chocolate.
I don't take her for a walks as often as I should. She would go for a walk ten times a day if you were so inclined. She also has a tie out area in our backyard. We haven't let her run loose, because we are surrounded by bush with no fenced yard. I know her hound instincts would guide her astray. She loves car rides. She has never been sick in the car. Just leaves lots of dirty windows from her very nosey nose.
We really hate to see her go, but we have realized that it isn't fair to her. Just because we don't have the time or patience, she shouldn't suffer. We would love to see her with a young family that is willing to give her the love and attention she deserves.
I hope I haven't scared you off. She really is a great dog and will be sadly missed. Just let me know if you do want to visit on Saturday and I will send you directions."
We met, and they liked us, and we liked her. She came home with us three weeks ago, and she's a good fit.
At least I know that she is a good fit, because we don't want to give her back. I think Molly will do for us - she's smart, and kind, and silly and warm. It takes the edge off the stubbornness that's very apparent, and part of her breed's nature. And she is lovely, just lovely with Josie.
Aside from that, Molly is being a lot of work, but that was expected. She's a bit demanding about her walks (it's the 6 am wake-up woof that's been keeping me too tired to blog, really - it's not
Crackbook, I swear), and she is big on the sniffing. Everything must be sniffed. She needs more training on the leash and with recall, and she has already caused some tears by chewing a few of Josephine's toys. Um...she has eaten poo. She is a poop-eater. A catbox crunchy, toddler potty raiding, bunny pellet snarfing, bird poop licking, bona-fide
corpophagic gross-out of a pet. (And I can't believe I just Googled poo eater and found
this.)(And
this is not yet a community, but
could be.)
While I like her quite a lot, and she is indeed loveable - I don't adore her the way I adored Beauty, not yet. And that's good. She's a bit aloof, and so am I. I need some time to learn to love a dog again.
But, as you can see, she is a good companion, at home, on walks, and at the store. It's so good to have her here.
Sue, whatever you do, all I can say is trust your heart and prepare to work hard.
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.”
Friedrich Nietzsche
