Boo Boo "What is this tagging that you speak of?"
Boo Boo: "Six things about the Boo Boo?"
Boo Boo: "Hmmm...only six? I could go on. The mysteries of life as Boo Boo are deep and wide and far, you know."
Boo Boo: "Hmm...which six."
Boo Boo: (thinking)
Boo Boo: "Okay."
"One. I do not appreciate the jokes about my fat sack. You turn me into a eunuch, and this is what you get. Aside from the wobbling underside, I am a sleek, lean, mean kitty machine. I am a panther. The fat sack swings like my balls would, if I still had them. Damn, you took my balls!"
"Two. I am terribly, terribly misunderstood. While I have some reserve, I can be affectionate. I like a good pat on the head. I like my back stroked, and you can even rub my tummy sometimes. I purr, I cuddle, and I rub myself on you not just because I am marking you as mine with my scent, but because there is a tiny, tiny part of me that cares about you, deep inside me. The parts that cared more about you were removed."
"Three. This is called 'presenting'. I rub against you, marking you with my scent...I mean, showing you affection...and then I walk away, tail raised, showing you my crinkle. I show you my bum-hole, because I can. When I do that, it says to you 'You think you know me? Then know this part of me. Know all of me, and take me as I am. Love the Boo Boo, love the asshole.' I have this down to an art. Just as you think I am being a lovely, sweet pet kitty cat WHOOP THERE IT IS - my puckerhole! Also because you feed me cheap cat food sometimes and you took my balls."
"Four. This is where the magic happens. I like the blue cotton blanket better than this pink crocheted thing that the homeless guy made for you. I vaguely resent having to be the recipient of some strange guy's hours of work just because you're sympathetic to him and let him warm up in your store when it's cold or wet - and you don't want to get rid of this even though you have no need for it in the house. I would like the green down blanket back please, and I don't care if you have to wash it more often because it shows dirt sooner. I share my food with the raccoons and two other neighbourhood cats because they didn't take my balls and it costs you more money."
Sometimes the cute young blonde thing crawls in bed with me and feeds me Greenies one at at time, by hand. I don't really like the Greenies all that much, I prefer Pounce. But, I do like that you get annoyed because it takes time away from going places and doing things. Because, you know - you can't take someone's balls away and then expect it to be sunshine and rainbows all the time."
"Five! OH! LOOK! I am presenting again! Answering these questions has become long and tiresome. Good-bye. I'm off to go bask in a sunbeam and swat at passing dogs. I tag no-one, because I have better things to do, like sprawling on the sidewalk and cleaning my pink wrinkle when the neighbours walk by. See ya later, when I hear the magical noise of food hitting my bowl."
